Wait, so we don't bonk?
by TveitsBoyfriend
Summary: Santana makes Puck take her on a date.
1. Chapter 1

**Boo. I don't think I've posted in a while. Thank you very much exams! **

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

'Oh God...'

Puck's skilled hands manfully gripped the tops of Santana's arms as he attacked her neck with kisses, his crotch keeping her pressed against the wall. 'Fuck, baby...'

His hands travelled down her arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake, and she thought for a moment that he might hold her hands but no; he brushed those out of his way, wanting to get straight to the main course.

'God, you're hot...' He muttered as his hands slid under her skirt, grasping her ass so he could tug her down on to his bed easily. Santana pulled back a little. She knew she was hot. She had guys telling her that every day. But no guy had ever come up to her and said 'Nice personality,' or 'Woah, mama, those _thoughts_ are huge!' She honestly didn't mind being just a casual lay to Puck when they first started doing it (she had lost it to Billy Flynn a few days before anyway) but in the year of fucks that had followed, something had changed. She hated to attribute it to her joining of the band of freaks but somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that Glee had taught her she should at least be a little respected, especially if she's giving it up to someone twice a week. She put a hand on Puck's chest, cutting off his kiss.

'Say my name,' she said cautiously.

'Santana.'

'No, I mean, when we're...'

'Oh... mmkay...' he resumed his ministrations, slipping his hands under her shirt to try and rid her of that. 'Oh babe - um,_ Santana..._' he said offhandedly, this being the first time since his first time that he hadn't been 100% confident during sex (he just wasn't used to being told what to do...).

Santana groaned in exasperation. That sounded so _forced. _He was meant to like _her_, not just the sex! (Although the sex was pretty phenomenal).This wouldn't nearly be as bad if she didn't actually like the guy. Puck just sorta... did something to her, and that something was not something below the hip region. It was more in her stomach, kind of in her chest but she wasn't sure, as was a growing trend now with her, it seemed. Not that she wasn't totally in control.

'Do you like me?' she asked, sitting up and picking up the edge of Puck's bedspread.

'Huh? Yeah, I fucking dig you...' he moved in to kiss her neck again.

'No, I mean, when we're not sleeping together.'

'Uh, sure... Can we -'

'What's my middle name?'

'Uh...'

'How many pets do I have?'

'Nine?'

'What's my favourite book?'

'Oh, I know this one! Darwin awards!'

'No, Puck, that's yours...'

'Oh yeah...' They sat in an awkward silence for a moment. 'So where were we?'

'We have bonked dozens of times and you know nothing about me!'

'I know where your g-spot is...'

'I am more than just a g-spot!'

'What is up with you?'

'You should know!'

'Should I – Oh!' Puck nodded in sudden understanding. 'I get it. Babe, it's cool, I've seen _Carrie_, I know crazy shit happens when girls get on their perio-'

'Ugh!' The Latina jumped up and started storming out before a strong hand caught her wrist.

'Babe - Santana - what can I do? I mean, it ain't my fault you're feeling sore but tell me how... y'know, to make you feel better now you've jumped on the crazy train.'

'I want a date.'

'We have some raisins downstairs but they're kinda old...'

'I mean a date! In a nice restaurant, or a movie, or a theatre!'

'Oh...' Puck had never been on one of those before... 'Well, okay. I guess.' He cleared his throat. 'You free Saturday?'

'Yes.'

'Awesome - Wait, shit, no, that's our first game of the -' he paused at her steely glare. 'Never mind, World Cup not important...' he kicked himself mentally.

'Pick me up at eight.'

'You betcha.' He forced a smile.

Santana smirked, nodded, and offered her cheek for him to kiss. After a minute of confusion he did so, before watching her sashay out of his bedroom. He stood wondering for a minute why he had agreed to that. Then he remembered that thing she did with her tongue.

_Damn, this had better get me laid..._

_xxxxxxxxxxxx_

**I'm looking rather attractive**

**Now that I'm radioactive!**

**Just watch me spark, I glow in the dark!**

**Goshdarn I love Hair.**

**Reviews rock! Especially nice ones!**

**Xx**

**P.S: Shameless twitter plugging here: .com/equalityspencer**

**=D xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**People say it's quite unlikely**

**The two of us should stick**

**But I just tell 'em – hey!**

**It's Me and My Dick!**

**Me and My Dick the musical, go YouTube it! By the same guys who did "A Very Potter Musical." Haven't seen it? See it =D**

**ooooooooooooo**

'So you want... natural?'

'Yup.'

'But like you made an effort.'

'Uh-huh.'

'But not too much of an effort...'

'Nope.'

''Cause then he'll know how much you like him?'

'Yup.'

'I need to sit down...' Brittany flopped down on the floor of the make-up aisle in the drugstore. Santana shot her a warning look and she jumped straight back up again. 'But what's with all the fuss? It's just Puck. The outfit we spent three hours shopping for will just end up on his bedroom floor and whatever make-up we choose will just like, evaporate anyways.'

'Tonight's kind of a big night.'

'Sex with the lights on?' Brittany nodded knowledgeably.

'Nope-'

'Sex with the curtains open?'

'Brittany, no sex. I told you, that's the point.'

'But... why?'

'Because, I want him to see more in me than just a casual lay and a fantastic rack.'

'But... why?'

'I feel like I want to be valued more. I don't know, it was kinda sudden.' Santana threw down the blusher in disdain. 'Does this crappy store have anything decent?'

'Not as decent as you...' the voice floated over Santana's head. She rolled her eyes.

'What a beautiful lukewarm sentiment. What are you doing here?' she elbowed him gently in the stomach before turning to face him.'

'Hi Puck!' Brittany chimed in.

'Hey, Brit.' Puck threw the package he held in the air and caught it quickly. 'Just getting ready for tonight, babe.' He waved it in her face.

She snatched it from him and upon catching a glance of the words "ribbed for her pleasure," punched him in the shoulder. 'These!' She gestured wildly. 'Are out of bounds!' She threw them into the feminine hygiene aisle, where she knew Puck was afraid to go. 'No one here is getting laid tonight.'

'I might be!' piped up Brittany.

'Shut up, Brit. You got that, Puckerman?'

'I got that, Lopez.' He smirked.

'See you tonight then, Puckerman.'

'I'll be there, Lopez.'

'Fine.'

'Fine.' Puck winked and turned away.

'He is such an ass.' Santana turned back to Brittany.

'You love me for it!' his voice came from the end of the aisle.

'Shut up!'

ooooooooooooooooooo

'Hey, pussy, did you wimp out?' Matt greeted him at the front of the store.

'Fuck you, she's still on this "no sex tonight" shit. I'll get her to come around. I just need to be sneaky.' Puck pulled out his cell phone and dialled his older brother's number. 'Yo, Brad? I'ma need some of your condom stash, man... six should do. Thanks, bro.' He hung up and turned to Matt. 'I am gonna _fuck her senseless._'

ooooooooooooooooooooo

**Oh, Puck, when will you learn?**

**Reviews are lovely =D**

**Nice reviews are even lovelier =D**

**xx**


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